I’m still pondering the reasons why America lags so far behind Japan’s toilet technology. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, watch the video in this post, and be prepared to be shocked and outraged by what you see. I know I was.
America, forget the race to arms. Forget the race to space. We must unite and race to the toilet. This is a call we cannot ignore.
We are a nation of great innovators! How have we fallen so behind? I believe the answer to this riddle lies in a sign I discovered in a university bathroom stall today. I took a picture of it, so you could see the evidence for yourself.
This is a perfect example of the sort of political rhetoric that will get us nowhere in The Great Toilet Race. Despite what the author of that message wants you believe, there is no magical “toilet wand” to wave to eliminate the problems we face. Do not let long-winded prose, complex syntax, and fancy words keep you locked in the Dark Ages! They only serve to obfuscate the truth of the message, “if there’s poo in the pot, you must poke it with a stick to get rid of it.”
America, we must stand up and make a Defecation Proclamation: We will not be Number Two.
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January 29, 2011 at 8:58 am
chandler
“… Defecation Proclamation: We will not be Number Two?”
Gods! I’m somewhere between appalled and somewhat perturbed that you get to lay claim to that witicism, and not me!
I’m so going to start posting all my witty remarks here before you claim all the best ones!
February 11, 2011 at 4:21 pm
Lunar Euphoria
Please do.
February 10, 2011 at 5:09 pm
Still More on Toilet Technology (Enlightenment – Month 1, Day 2 « My Little Spacebook
May 23, 2012 at 1:22 pm
Beth Ann
Of course I had to hop on over to see what your bathroom sign was about! Yours has mine beat by miles!!!! Mine definitely comes in number two…..hahhahhahhha!!!! 🙂
July 5, 2012 at 2:38 pm
Kathy
“we must unite and race to the toilet”
“we will not be number two!”
ha ha ha ha ha. I LOVE bathroom humor.
You win accolades on this one.
July 5, 2012 at 4:29 pm
Dana
This is awesome. “We will not be number two!” has to be the best line in the history of bathroom humour. 🙂
October 10, 2013 at 1:19 am
I apologize in advance… | My Little Spacebook
[…] engineering. Still reeling from that revelation, a couple weeks later I encountered another disturbing sign in a university bathroom stall indicating America’s ineptitude in latrine design and the […]