I’m still pondering the reasons why America lags so far behind Japan’s toilet technology.   If you have no idea what I’m talking about, watch the video in this post, and be prepared to be shocked and outraged by what you see. I know I was. 

America, forget the race to arms.  Forget the race to space.  We must unite and race to the toilet. This is a call we cannot ignore. 

We are a nation of great innovators! How have we fallen so behind? I believe the answer to this riddle lies in a sign I discovered in a university bathroom stall today.  I took a picture of it, so you could see the evidence for yourself.

This is a perfect example of the sort of political rhetoric that will get us nowhere in The Great Toilet Race.  Despite what the author of that message wants you believe, there is no magical “toilet wand” to wave to eliminate the problems we face. Do not let long-winded prose, complex syntax, and fancy words keep you locked in the Dark Ages! They only serve to obfuscate the truth of the message, “if there’s poo in the pot, you must poke it with a stick to get rid of it.”  

America, we must stand up and make a Defecation Proclamation: We will not be Number Two.