Topic: My Failed Attempt to Warm Leftovers

Me: Well! How am I supposed to know how to work this gadget?

The Devil: It’s not a gadget; it’s the oven.


Topic: Buying cheese for the Devil

Me: Please get the kind of cheese he likes.  He wants the mozerella that comes in a wet, soggy ball. Whatever you keep buying offends him.

Indentured Servant (laughing):  I’ve been offending him my whole life with my food choices…offending him, and then laughing about it.


Topic: The Rape of Kiki by P. King

Me: …P. King was getting it on with Kiki in the pool.  P. King had her by the neck!

Skattur: So? What’s wrong with that?

Me: What’s wrong with that?! …it’s…it’s….horrible! They’re different kinds of ducks!  They should be mating with their partners! What if they have mutant babies?! What about poor Hiram? and P. Queen?!

Skattur:  They’re ducks! It’s not like they’re different species! What difference does it make?

Indentured Servant: Yeah! Who died and made you the Duck Pimp?