I’m sorry, dear reader. This is not a post I want to write, but it is one that needs to be written so my heart doesn’t close against this hurt. Just pass it over or bear it along with me.
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Nilla Bean filled our lives for nine months with her brilliant puppy light and boisterous spirit. She was a force of nature with exactly two settings: BOUNDING JOY or asleep. She welcomed every guest in our home with a two paw greeting, manic kisses, and often a little piddle on the shoes because she just couldn’t keep all the excitement contained.
She loved to chase cats, balls, and children around the house and yard. The more noise these things made, the better. If something else wasn’t making a racket, then surely she needed to be. She learned to bark and growl menacingly from a German Shephard at the park. Whenever she spied Nickel the Barn Cat in the garden, she would stand at the bedroom window and use her “Big Dog” bark to complain about it. She also used her Big Dog bark whenever she went to the vet to show the other dogs who was boss. Every morning her “big ole tail” pounded out a tattoo on the floor, the bed post, the wall. Then she would get all chatty, going on and on about it all in this prolonged grumbly-howl-chewy-bark-sneeze sort of way that always made us laugh, no matter how many times we heard it.
She loved rides and I loved watching her ears sail on the breeze.
Nilla Bean was a beautiful girl, brimming with enthusiasm, vitality, and joy. Her short life reminded us to love with wild abandon, to celebrate life, to enjoy every moment, and to take joy rides with the windows down.
The passing of her sweet spirit is deeply felt. She will be greatly missed.
~~*~~
He is my other eyes that can see above the clouds; my other ears that hear above the winds. He is the part of me that can reach out into the sea. He has told me a thousand times over that I am his reason for being; by the way he rests against my leg; by the way he thumps his tail at my smallest smile; by the way he shows his hurt when I leave without taking him. (I think it makes him sick with worry when he is
not along to care for me.)
When I am wrong, he is delighted to forgive. When I am angry, he clowns to make me smile. When I am happy, he is joy unbounded. When I am a fool, he ignores it. When I succeed, he brags. Without him, I am only another man. With him, I am all-powerful. He is loyalty itself. He has taught me the meaning of devotion. With him, I know a secret comfort and a private peace. He has brought me understanding where before I was ignorant. His head on my knee can heal my human hurts. His presence by my side is protection against my fears of dark and unknown things. He has promised to wait for me… whenever… wherever – in case I need him. And I expect I will – as I always have. He is just my dog.
—Gene Hill
21 comments
Comments feed for this article
November 6, 2012 at 10:30 pm
Dana
Oh no! What happened to Nilla Bean? The loss of a pet is felt so deeply, regardless of whether we’ve known them for 9 days or 19 years. I’m so sorry to hear that she is no longer with you and wish your heart a healing balm. 😦
November 11, 2012 at 7:11 pm
Lunar Euphoria
Thank you Dana. She died in an accident.
November 11, 2012 at 7:35 pm
Dana
😦 That’s heartbreaking. So sorry to hear it.
November 6, 2012 at 10:37 pm
tiny lessons blog
Sorry to read about your loss. Beautiful post.
November 11, 2012 at 7:11 pm
Lunar Euphoria
Thank you.
November 6, 2012 at 10:50 pm
skatturcast
They fondly called her Donkey but she was a Tigger at heart. I will miss her happy face and her bouncing ways!
“Don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” ― Dr. Seuss
RIP Nilla
November 11, 2012 at 7:13 pm
Lunar Euphoria
The wonderful thing about Tiggers is that Tiggers are wonderful things.
November 7, 2012 at 1:54 am
Merlin
I am so sorry.
November 11, 2012 at 7:13 pm
Lunar Euphoria
Thank you Merlin. Hug that beautiful dog of yours.
November 7, 2012 at 5:25 am
Cathy
While she wasn’t here very long, she lived a great life and she left this world very happy… there’s not much more anyone could ask… except maybe she stayed to visit just a little bit longer .. rest in peace MissNillaBean
November 11, 2012 at 7:15 pm
Lunar Euphoria
She was happy.
November 7, 2012 at 12:00 pm
Tori Nelson
Oh, oh, oh. My heart’s hurting for you. Once you’ve loved a dog you know that this feels exactly like losing a very best friend.
November 11, 2012 at 7:15 pm
Lunar Euphoria
Yes. Thank you, Tori.
November 8, 2012 at 5:06 pm
The Orchestra Director's Wife
I’m so sorry about your beloved friend. It’s so hard to lose a pet. 😦
November 11, 2012 at 7:16 pm
Lunar Euphoria
Thank you.
November 11, 2012 at 5:11 pm
Meredith
Dear Tina, I read your post with tears for Nilla Bean and all her friends on the farm. I’m so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful eulogy you wrote for her. I’m sure she knew she was surrounded by love, and that’s all one can ask in this world.
November 11, 2012 at 7:16 pm
Lunar Euphoria
Thank you Meredith.
November 25, 2012 at 6:30 pm
Maddie Cochere
I missed this post. I’m so very sorry for your loss of Nilla Bean. I adore dogs, and I’ve never felt heartache like I’ve experienced when our dogs passed. This was a beautiful post. I’m sorry it had to be written.
December 1, 2012 at 10:43 pm
Lunar Euphoria
Thanks for your kind words, Maddie.
November 30, 2012 at 5:18 am
michelleatplay
It’s always sad to lose a dog, but a puppy feels more tragic. I’m so sorry.
December 1, 2012 at 10:48 pm
Lunar Euphoria
Thank you.