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Me: Wait! Where are you going?

Him: To pick lettuce.

Me: What?! Do you have your lettuce picking kit?

Him: Well, I have a knife…what more do I need?

Me: You need scissors and you need a bowl.

Him: How much lettuce do you think I need?

Me: It’s not just about you anymore. I need lettuce too.

Him: Well get your stuff.

Me: Ok, but I need light. There’s bugs. And I can’t see in the dark.

Him: Whoohoo! It’s Friday night, let’s go pick lettuce!

Me: I need the light here! EW! LOOK! SEE? There’s a nasty slug slime-ing up my
lettuce! GROSS!

Him: Well don’t pick that piece.

Him: This is cool…go out in your back yard and get your groceries….

Hobbit (wings a-fluttering): ER-er-ER-er-ERRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!

Me: He’s such a good boy.

Him: We have a watch rooster.

Me: Yeah, he makes me feel safe. Nobody is gonna sneak up on us!