According to common folklore, it takes somewhere between 21 – 30 days to break a habit. I’m here to tell you, don’t believe the hype. Today is my 32nd consecutive meatless, seafoodless, and eggless day and I’m having issues.  

No eggs? No problem here. Here are tips, tricks, and recommendations for living without eggs:

  • To substitute the egg in French toast, dunk the bread in mashed up banana and coconut milk before frying. 
  • Coconut milk and oil can also be used as an egg replacement in cakes, cupcakes, and bread. 
  •  Whole Foods sells eggless mayonnaise.
  •  Alden’s Ice Cream is organic, egg-free, and contains no beaver junk.  The chocolate chocolate chip is a tasty treat.
  • Gelato is rapidly gaining in popularity and many (though not all) gelato flavors are egg free.(Miraculously YoLo sells it in my favorite flavor: chai.  I take this as a personal sign that there is a God and that She wants me to be happy.)

No seafood? I have no problem not eating seafood in Memphis.  If I was in New Orleans this could be problemmatic.  I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it.

No meat? ARG!  I’ve been craving a hamburger for a solid week – and I mean deeply craving – like a crack addict. This weekend during a walk I smelled hamburgers grilling in a stranger’s backyard and it made me crazy.  My stomach rumbled greedily even though I had just had a large lunch. I momentarily entertained the idea of running over and snatching the meat off the grill and gobbling it down still steaming.  It’s summertime! Summer means hamburgers. It’s a family tradition. My grandparents fed us all burgers several times a week my whole life until they died and my niece took up the spatula.  This is the same niece who, upon learning I was doing the vegetarian thing, stared at me blankly and said, “I have no idea what to talk to you about now.”  We are a burger-eating tribe!  There are so many happy warm-fuzzy family memories tied up in this feeding ritual, from the Kiki and Herm arguments about what’s for lunch (often settled by my enthusiastic cries, “Let’s have hamburgers!”), to the discussions of why ground sirloin makes a better burger  (less fat, no gristle), to what goes on whose burger (mayo and pickle on mine, thank you).

[[stomach grumbling]]

Oh bother.