On my twelfth successful day of vegetarianism The Devil puts the cole slaw under my nose and asks me if I want a bite. Cabbage…carrots…why, yes, I do.  Mmmm, cold, crunchy, creamy…CRAP! It contains mayonaise and mayonaise contains egg. 

I was so mad I broke guideline #1 (don’t harm any living being) that I broke # 3 (don’t take what isn’t yours) and stole a couple bites of The Devil’s fish and then I went next door and broke guideline #5 (don’t use intoxicants such as alcohol or tobacco) and now I’m ready to tell a few lies and engage in sexual misconduct.

Wheeeeeeeeee! Lookout world…it’s going to be a fun and very unenlightened weekend.