How in the world do people adhere to guideline #1?  I went to a sushi restaurant for dinner and ordered edamame, fried rice (without the egg),  and a California roll, assuming it would be vegetarian.  Wrong.  Crab inside and fish eggs on top.  I ate it, of course. I am so not good at the “don’t harm any living being” thing.

Fortunately, the guidelines say nothing about harming inanimate objects for I murdered and disemboweled the smoke detector last night and then I  hid the body.  It was the most satisfying experience I’ve had in awhile. I defeated the 9th circle of hell.

Guidelines 2-5 are a breeze.